


Secret Love

by ourdestiny



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, Love, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 15:13:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8253640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourdestiny/pseuds/ourdestiny
Summary: Jongin and Sehun loved each other. But they couldn't let other people knew about it. They kept their relationship a secret from everyone. It hurts both of them equally. But they never stopped believing that one day, they would have their own happy ending.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what I am writing... 
> 
> Warning: Infidelity (but not really, depends on how you see it)
> 
> Also posted on Aff :)

“Will you come tomorrow?”

 

Jongin shifted on the couch so he was facing Sehun.

 

“Do you want me to come?” Jongin asked back.

Sehun hung his head low and bit his bottom lip. “I think it will be better if you are not there. It will be easier for both of us.”

 

“Then I won’t go. I will stay here.” Jongin said.

 

Sehun finally met his gaze and Jongin’s heart constricted painfully in his chest when he saw the sadness in Sehun’s eyes. Jongin wordlessly pulled Sehun closer to him and Sehun instantly wrapped his arms around Jongin’s waist and buried his face in the crook of Jongin’s neck. Jongin rested his cheek on Sehun’s head and inhaled deeply.

 

“I will be waiting for you here.” Jongin whispered.

 

“I will be away for one week.”

 

Jongin frowned. “Where are you going?”

 

There was a beat of silence before Sehun replied with a hesitant voice. “Honeymoon. Japan.”

 

“Oh.” Right, of course they would go for a honeymoon. Jongin swallowed thickly, refusing to let any emotion showed.

 

They stayed silent again and just hugging each other for a while. Giving each other comfort and warmth.

 

“I need to go now.” Sehun broke the silence.

 

“Yeah, okay.”

 

Sehun pulled himself away from Jongin’s arms and stared at him. Jongin returned the gaze steadily and closed his eyes when Sehun leaned forward to press his lips on his. The kiss started off slowly but then it got desperate as both of them were reminded of what’s going to happen tomorrow.

 

“I love you, Sehun. I love you so much.” Jongin muttered into the kiss.

 

“I love you too.”

 

Jongin pulled away when he could feel something salty on his tongue and was met with a crying Sehun. “Baby please don’t cry.” Jongin wiped away the tears that had fallen onto Sehun’s beautiful face.

 

“I love you.” Sehun sobbed and Jongin pulled him into a tight hug.

 

“I love you too. I am sorry I can’t do anything to stop it from happening. But I promise you one day, we will run away and start our own happy life. I promise you, Sehun. Do you believe me?”

 

Sehun nodded his head frantically. “I believe in you Jongin. I will wait for you to come and take me away.”

 

“Good. So stop crying please. It hurts me seeing you like this.” Jongin tried really hard to hold back his own tears because he needed to be strong in front of Sehun.

 

“I will come here after I get back from Japan. You will wait for me here, right?” Sehun sounded somewhat uncertain as he asked this.

 

“Stupid. Of course I will wait for you here. Where else would I go?”

 

Sehun smiled then and Jongin couldn’t be more relieved because Sehun’s smile was his source of strength.

 

“Okay, I really need to go now before my mother looks for me.” Sehun wiped away the remaining tears on his cheek before he stood up from the couch. Jongin followed him and walked him to the front door.

 

“See you next week.” Jongin kissed Sehun’s forehead lovingly.

 

“See you.” Sehun pecked his lips before he exited the house. Sehun turned around one last time and waved at Jongin before he got into the elevator. Jongin just stood there, unmoving, for a few minutes. Staring at the empty space in front of him where Sehun was standing just now. It’s as empty as his heart. He took a deep breath to calm himself down. The sobs that were threatening to come out earlier finally made it past his throat. He fisted his mouth and closed the door behind him. He let himself fell onto the cold floor and curled himself up on it. His whole body hurt, but his heart hurt the most. It hurts so fucking much and he wished he could stop the pain. But he knew it would never disappear. It would always be there until he could have Sehun in his arms, forever.

  
  
  
  
  


The wedding was everywhere on the news. It’s on the television, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, everywhere. Jongin knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid it so he sat on his small couch and stared blankly at the television that was airing the wedding ceremony live.

 

Jongin gripped the pillow tightly when Sehun came into the screen. Sehun was so beautiful. Wearing a designer black suit and pants, and with his blond hair styled up in such a way, Sehun looked perfect as always. Jongin couldn’t help the smile that made its way to his face, it’s an automatic response whenever he saw Sehun. But then his smile disappeared in a matter of second when the camera zoomed into a woman’s face who was smiling so brightly. She was pretty, Jongin would admit that, but still couldn’t be compared to Sehun’s beauty. The girl was wearing a long and expensive-looking wedding dress. Her arm was hooked with Sehun’s and Jongin scowled. They didn’t look good together.

 

Jongin focused his eyes on Sehun again. Sehun was smiling to the guests, but Jongin knew it was not a real smile. There was no shine in his eyes like when he usually smiled. The smile looked forced and Jongin felt the pang in his heart when he noticed the sadness and hurt in Sehun’s eyes. He couldn’t help but to think that it was his fault Sehun had to go through all of this.

 

He was not as rich as Sehun. He was not as powerful as Sehun’s parents. And he was not a girl that could give birth to an heir for the Oh family.

 

No one knew they were dating. No one knew that they loved each other. It had been two years and they had been dating secretly for two years.

 

They couldn’t let other people know. Sehun could lose everything he had now. Though Sehun had told him many times that he didn’t care as long as he could be with Jongin, Jongin cared. It’s not like he dated Sehun for his money. No, not at all.

 

He just didn’t want Sehun to suffer with him. He had nothing. He was just a dancer in a small theater. He had no parents and he grew up in an orphanage. He didn’t go to college because he didn’t have money to pay for the fees. He was really nothing compared to Sehun who was the only heir of one of the biggest companies in Korea.

 

He couldn’t ask Sehun to run away with him when he had nothing to offer Sehun. He couldn’t possibly let Sehun live in his filthy apartment and ate ramyun everyday. Sehun grew up with a gold spoon in his mouth. Jongin was not that cruel to take that away from Sehun. Sehun deserved better, and Jongin vowed that he would work really hard so he could be someone that deserved Sehun’s love.

 

Honestly, he didn’t know what made Sehun loved him. He once asked Sehun about this because he was feeling so insecure about himself.

 

“I love you because I love you. You are not rich but I don’t care. I love you because it’s you. You make me happy. I love being with you. You are Kim Jongin. I don’t know, but it’s so hard to explain. Love doesn’t always need explanation right? I can love whoever I want, and my heart chose you.” Sehun had told him back then and Jongin felt like the happiest person in the whole universe.

 

“One day Sehun. One day I will become successful and we will run away together. I promise.” Jongin whispered when Sehun’s face appeared on the screen again. As if Sehun could hear him, Sehun stared directly into the camera and smiled. A real smile and Jongin smiled back at him. “I promise.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jongin’s dance crew had been invited to perform in a company party next week. Jongin didn’t know much information about the company because he didn’t really care about that kind of thing. He just cared about what the concept was and what kind of dance they wanted. He had been busy preparing the choreography and practising with his members for the past few days. Or he was _trying_ to be busy to be more exact.

 

He just wanted to distract himself from thinking about Sehun. Sehun was on a honeymoon right now and Jongin couldn’t help the feeling of jealousy at the thought of Sehun sleeping with someone else which was not him. He knew Sehun would never betray him, but it still hurts nevertheless. He knew Sehun needed to sleep with that woman because that’s what married couples would do. Jongin sighed heavily before he raised the volume of the loudspeaker. He moved his body to the music, closing his eyes and focused only on the song and his body. He tried to push those thoughts away. He could get through this.

  
  


Jongin never called or text Sehun first. That’s their agreement since the first day they started dating because it was too risky. So Jongin was sitting on his couch right now, waiting for a call or text for Sehun. He had been waiting for days, but none of them came. Well, Sehun was on a honeymoon with his wife, so maybe it was for the best not calling Jongin right now. They wouldn’t want Sehun’s wife to be suspicious.

 

But Jongin still couldn’t shake off the unpleasant feeling for being the secret lover. Everyone knew that the woman beside Sehun was his wife but no one knew that the one Sehun’s love was actually Jongin. It hurts a little but he tried not to dwell too much of it. He chose this path. He needed to suck it up. All the pain and frustration, he needed to accept it. He believed in the end it would be worth it.

  
  
  


**From: Oh Sehun**

**I can’t see you tonight. There’s a party I need to attend. I’m sorry. I will see you tomorrow?**

 

Today Sehun would come back from his honeymoon and as they have agreed before, they were going to meet at Jongin’s apartment.

 

**To: Oh Sehun**

**It’s okay. I have a performance too tonight. Yes, see you tomorrow.**

 

They refrained from using the words like ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you’ in their texts just in case. Jongin wanted to save Sehun’s contact with cheesy name but he knew it would be better if he didn’t do that.

 

Jongin tossed his phone onto the table and went into the bathroom. He needed to get ready for the performance and hopefully it would help him to forget about his yearning to meet Sehun. This was not that bad, he thought. There were some occasions where they couldn’t see each other for almost a month because Sehun was busy with his company or because Sehun was on a business trip. This was just one week and he would meet Sehun tomorrow. It would be alright.

 

When Jongin came back from the bathroom after taking a quick shower, he received another message from Sehun.

 

**From: Oh Sehun**

**Good luck.**

 

Just two words but it was enough to lift up his mood.

  
  


Jongin freezed at the entrance to the five-star hotel where he would perform tonight. He stared at the big banner above him and felt his stomach churned uncomfortably.

 

“Hey, Jongin, why did you stop walking? Let’s go.” Yixing nudged his side.

 

Jongin tore his gaze away and cleared his throat awkwardly. “Uh, nothing. It is a party held by the Oh Corp?”

 

“You didn’t know? It’s written on the attachment I sent you last week.” Yixing frowned in confusion.

 

“Oh, I didn’t pay attention to it.” Jongin chuckled bitterly.

 

“Is there any problem with it?”

 

“Nah, nothing. Let’s go. We need to get ready.” Jongin started walking again while Yixing just shrugged his shoulder before he followed Jongin.

 

If this was a party held by Sehun’s father’s company, that meant Sehun would be here too. Which meant Jongin would probably see him, with his wife. He didn’t know whether he could handle seeing them together in real life. He was scared he wouldn’t be able to control himself. Sighing heavily, he shook his head and went into the waiting room where his other group members were waiting. He would only focus on his job and avoided looking at the crowd. As long as he didn’t see Sehun, he would be fine.

  
  


But looked like God wanted to play game with him. Because Baekhyun came up to him with a very wide grin on his face that made Jongin wondered what made the male so happy.

 

“Jongin, we are invited to join the party after our performance! Oh my god I am so excited. This is such a big and fancy party. This is amazing!” Baekhyun squealed happily.

 

Jongin’s face fell at Baekhyun’s words but he was quick to hide it. Staying for the party meant more chance to encounter Sehun, which was bad. But he knew it would be rude if he just left, not to add that he was their group’s leader. He needed to be there.

 

“Hey, why are you not as excited as me?” Baekhyun pouted.

 

“I am. I am just nervous.” Jongin tried to smile and he hoped it didn’t look too fake.

 

“Seriously, why do you need to be nervous? You are the best dancer we ever had. Plus, this won’t be your first time performing.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes.

 

“I still get nervous sometimes, okay. Now, go. I wanna rest for a while before we perform.” Jongin closed his eyes and leaned his head on the back of the couch.

 

Baekhyun scoffed but didn’t try to bother him anymore.

 

Now that Jongin thought about it, this would be the first time he and Sehun would be in a public together surrounded by people that knew them. It was scary because they really needed to be careful so other people wouldn’t be suspicious. Jongin sighed again. Tonight was not going to be an easy night.

  
  


The moment Jongin got onto the stage, he trained his eyes on the ground, trying his best to not make any eye-contact with the audiences. He didn’t even care anymore if people thought that he was being rude.

 

Their performance went well. He couldn’t remember much because of the adrenaline he felt every time he was dancing. But when he could still hear people cheering for them even after they went down the stage, he knew they did well.

 

“Let’s freshen up then join the party.” Baekhyun was suddenly beside him as they walked back to their waiting room.

 

“You can go first. I will find you guys later.” Jongin quickly dashed into the bathroom so Baekhyun couldn’t have the chance to ask him more questions.

 

Luckily the bathroom was empty so he took his time to gather up his thoughts. He was so nervous. He thought that it was stupid. He should be happy because he would get to see Sehun, his lover that he had missed so much. But instead he was a nervous wreck right now. Well, who could blame him?

 

After spending fifteen minutes in the bathroom, he decided that he needed to go out from there now. No matter what’s going to happen outside later, all he could hope was for him to be able to control his feelings.

  
  
  
  


The party was held in a spacious ballroom. There was a bar on one side and on the other side was a long table filled with different kind of foods. It was crowded but not as bad as clubs. The people who attended this party obviously looked rich and educated.

 

Jongin found an empty chair on the bar and he quickly sat on it. He didn’t feel like drinking so he just ordered a mocktail. He spotted his dance crew standing not too far away from him, chatting animatedly while enjoying the foods. He could join them so he wouldn’t look so lonely, but he was not in the mood right now. He had decided that he would stay for another half-an-hour before he went home. At least, he made an effort to stay.

 

He hadn’t seen Sehun and he hoped it would stay that way until the end.

 

Suddenly the upbeat song was changed into a slower song. Jongin turned around and saw that people have gathered in the centre of the room and made it a dance floor. People started to pair up with their partner and danced along to the song. Jongin chuckled lowly as he shook his head. It was so fascinating to watch.

 

He decided to stay on his seat. He didn’t have a partner to dance with anyway. The fact made him sad again but he quickly pushed the thought away.

 

He scanned the room to try to locate his friends. He saw Baekhyun standing at the corner of the room with Yixing. They were just talking and tried not to laugh too loud. He spotted Taemin dancing with a girl Jongin had never seen before. Jongin laughed silently because it was so Taemin to get a girl to dance with him so easily. The rest of his members were spreaded out on the dance floor. Jongin noticed that he was the only one left on the bar, but he liked it this way.

 

He felt his whole body tensed when he saw the back of a tall figure he knew so well. Jongin swallowed with difficulty when he noticed that Sehun was dancing with his wife. Sehun’s arms were wrapped around the woman’s waist while the woman had his arms on Sehun’s shoulders. The woman couldn’t stop smiling and Jongin wondered whether Sehun was smiling back to her. He couldn’t see because Sehun had his back on him.

 

Jongin was about to look away when they turned around and this time Sehun was facing him. He couldn’t stop staring because Sehun was in front of him and he looked as flawless as ever. Jongin really wanted to hug and kiss him but he knew he couldn’t and it sucked.

 

Sehun might have felt someone’s gaze on him, because he raised his head and looked around the room. His eyes widened slightly when he spotted Jongin. Sehun was looking at him so intently that it made Jongin felt overwhelmed. He tore his gaze away and stared at his own feet instead. But he could still feel Sehun’s gaze on him.

 

When he finally lifted his head again, Sehun’s wife was already hugging Sehun and Jongin’s heart constricted painfully.

 

Sehun was still staring at him but then he looked away when his wife called his name. Sehun was smiling at whatever the woman was telling him. But then Jongin noticed something. Sehun was forcing his smile. Sehun’s smile was sad and empty. Sehun was not happy. Sehun was hurting as much as he did. Sehun needed to pretend to love someone that he clearly didn’t love. All of the gestures he did toward the woman were just an act.

 

Jongin felt like crying because it hurts him more to know that Sehun was not happy. He wondered if Sehun would be able to smile his precious smile again. He wondered how long Sehun would need to act and pretend. He wondered how long Sehun would need to suffer living the life he had never wanted.

 

When Sehun met his eyes again, Jongin almost couldn’t hold himself back because Sehun looked so damn broken. But he guessed he also looked the same because Sehun was giving him a sad look.

 

Jongin couldn’t stay here any longer. It was so suffocating. He needed to get out of this place now.

 

Jongin rushed toward the nearest door to him. He found himself in an empty balcony. He had thought that this door was the main door but turned out it was not. But then he thought that here was still better than inside. There was no one here so he could calm himself down first before he went home.

 

He turned around abruptly when he heard the door being opened. His eyes widened when he saw who it was.

 

“Sehun, what are you doing here?”

 

Sehun closed the door behind him before he stood in front of Jongin.

 

“Why did you storm off like that?” Sehun asked.

 

“Sehun it is too dangerous for you to be here.” Jongin looked around frantically.

 

“Answer me, Jongin.”

 

“What if someone walk in and see us together?” Jongin ignored Sehun’s question because he was really worried right now.

 

“Jongin..” Sehun sounded so sad and Jongin looked at Sehun with wide eyes. “I miss you.” Sehun said softly.

 

Jongin deflated almost immediately at Sehun’s words. “I miss you too.”

 

“Can you hug me, please?”

 

“But-”

 

“No one will look for me because I said I am going to the toilet. So I can stay here for a few minutes”

 

“Someone can walk in here and see us.”

 

“I have locked the door.” Sehun replied.

 

Jongin exhaled shakily before he stepped forward and engulfed Sehun in a big hug. He felt complete when Sehun’s arms wrapped itself around his waist tightly. This was where he belong to, in Sehun’s arms, always.

 

“I didn’t know you were the one who was going to perform tonight.” Sehun muttered.

 

“I also didn’t know that I would be dancing for your company’s party. If I had known, I wouldn’t have come. I’m sorry.”

 

“What are you sorry for?”

 

“Well, I made it hard for both of us.” Jongin sighed.

 

“But I am glad you are here.”

 

Jongin just hummed in response before he tightened his arms around Sehun.

 

“You haven’t answered my question. Why did you run away earlier?” Sehun asked again.

 

Jongin sighed because he knew Sehun wouldn’t let it slide easily.

 

“I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back from snatching you away from that woman.”

 

Sehun chuckled silently. “Are you jealous?”

 

“Of course I am jealous.”

 

“Jongin, I..”

 

“Hm?”

 

Sehun pulled away a little so he could look at Jongin. “I didn’t.. I didn’t sleep with her. In case you are wondering.” Sehun admitted in a small voice.

 

Jongin frowned. “But why? Won’t she be suspicious if you don’t want to do it?”

 

“I can’t do it. I told her I can’t do it. I know she won’t tell anyone about it and she also won’t be able to do anything about it. She needs this marriage to save her father’s company.” Sehun explained.

 

Jongin let out a sigh of relief and Sehun chuckled lowly. “Are you that glad?”

 

“Of course. I almost went crazy while thinking about what you guys were doing during your honeymoon. I couldn’t help it.” Jongin admitted. “Did she know about us?”

 

“Of course not. I can’t tell her. I don’t know how she will react to it. It will be better to keep it a secret from her.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Sehun’s face turned serious and Jongin stared at him cautiously.

 

“I’m sorry, Jongin. All we can do for now is to keep meeting secretly. I might not be able to meet you that often anymore. I don’t want my wife to be suspicious if I always go out. You know that right?”

 

“I know. I understand.” Jongin rested his forehead against Sehun and closed his eyes. “Sehun, are you happy?”

 

“Do you even need to ask? How can I be happy when you are not by my side? How can I be happy when it’s not your face I wake up to every morning?” Sehun breathed out heavily.

 

Jongin pressed his lips on Sehun’s forehead to calm him down. “I wish we could do that too. I wish I can hold your hands when we go out together. I wish I can dance with you on the dance floor while hugging you close to me. I wish I can kiss you whenever and wherever I want. I wish I can always keep you by my side, to hold you, to cherish you, and to love you. I’m sorry that we need to keep our relationship a secret. I am sorry I make you suffer so much. I am so sorry, Sehun.”

 

He didn’t even realise that he was crying until Sehun wiped his tears away with his thumb.

 

“Jongin, it’s not your fault.” Sehun stared at him with teary eyes.

 

Jongin took a deep breath before he said. “I don’t know how long it will take. But I will keep the promise I made to you. Will you wait for me?”

 

“I won’t go anywhere Jongin. I will always wait for you to take me away. I don’t care how long it will take, I am willing to wait because I love you, and you are the only one I want to be with.” Sehun smiled.

 

“Thank you. I won’t let you down. I promise.”

 

“I trust you.”

 

Jongin sighed in relief before he leaned forward and captured Sehun’s lips for a kiss.

 

No one knew when they would be able to see each other again. It could be days, weeks, or months.

 

They didn’t know until when they would have to keep their relationship as a secret from the world. Both of them knew it would only get harder from now on. But both of them did not want to give up. They believed that one day, they would be able to be together for the world to see. One day, they wouldn’t need to hide their love anymore. One day, they would finally have their own happy ending.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Would you like a sequel for this?


End file.
